‘Twas the Night before Clinical

Screenshot 2015-12-24 11.44.05As the year draws to a close, I thought I’d share a Christmas story with you. I wrote this for my clinical group instructor “Professor Rose” at the end of our first semester. Enjoy!

‘Twas the night before clinical and the lights were ablaze.
The student was prepping, her mind in a daze.

The treatments were listed and planned with great care.
In hopes that the professor would notice her flair.

The meds were looked up, with side effects known.
If one thing was missed, her professor would intone:

“This is serious business, you can’t make mistakes!
Do it over, do it over…and do not be late!”

The student was nervous as she turned out the light,
for a three hour nap before the dawn of daylight.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
She sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

It was Collie, and Rui, and Shannon and Nai.
Gloria, Elaine and Svetlana……but why?

Nadedja and Chrystanya called out from the street,
“Our patients were discharged, and we’re all up #&@# creek!”

Mo grabbed her drug book while Collie made a plan.
“We’ll sneak into the hospital, and search through the RAND.”

“We’ll find some new patients, Rose will never know.”
Nai looked at her watch, “We must not be slow!”.

They raced to their cars and headed downtown.
Each student unsure how this caper would go down.

They dispersed to their units, and walked with such stealth.
If Rose caught them here, they would fear for their health.

On 4-East the neuros were snug in their beds,
while visions of cranial nerves danced in their heads.

On 5-South the diabetics were fasting as they dreamed
of needle-less Accuchecks and chocolate mint ice cream.

On 4-North the patients were doped to the gills.
With body parts in traction, the unit was still.

Each student found their RAND and approached with great care.
In hopes the RNs wouldn’t notice they were there.

Just as they thought the coast was now clear,
a familiar footstep echoed in each student’s ear.

And who should they spy coming down the hall,
water bottle in hand, Rose nearing them all.

They tried to scatter, but to no avail.
She had already spotted them and began to wail:

“Girls, it’s two in the morning! You know I don’t sleep!
I’m like Old St. Nick and can hear every peep.”

“Conference room now!” She marched down the stairs.
Their hearts sunk to their knees, some even said prayers.

They walked to their fate, with minds full of dread.
But then saw something wondrous, just up ahead.

Rose was beaming with a twinkle in her eye.
The students were lost, “You mean we’re not going to die?”

“Of course not! You care…and that, I’ll allow!
The fact that you’re here, means you’re real nurses now!”

The students smiled proudly and gave Rose a hug,
when the sound of the alarm woke Mo with a buzz.

“What a strange dream,” she called her friends to compare.
They’d had it, too…that must be quite rare!

They shuffled in to the hospital, holding on to their preps.
And saw Rose looking very perplexed.

“Your patients were discharged, every last one!
The odds are incredible, this has never been done!”

Was it a dream? The girls gave Rose a close stare.
She was in the same clothes, and had rumpled hair.

“Go on, you ‘real nurses’ and pass this last test!”
“We will,” they replied…“we’ve learned from the best!”

One thought on “‘Twas the Night before Clinical

Leave a Reply